Horror Movie Horoscopes
I love astrology. I don’t claim to be an expert but I do dabble and love reading my horoscope.
I had a thought and searched the web to find several different horoscopes for horror movies, including this fantastic one from Abnormal Astrology (Side Note: Apparently I’m the non-believer) . So I made my own horror movie horoscopes for you. Enjoy!
Find Your Sign & Scan Your Horror Movie Horoscope
Aries (The Ram) Mar. 21–Apr. 19
Taurus (The Bull) Apr. 20–May 20
Gemini (The Twins) May 21–June 21
Cancer (The Crab) June 22–July 22
Leo (The Lion) July 23–Aug. 22
Virgo (The Virgin) Aug. 23–Sept. 22
Libra (The Balance) Sept. 23–Oct. 23
Scorpio (The Scorpion) Oct. 24–Nov. 21
Sagittarius (The Archer) Nov. 22–Dec. 21
Capricorn (The Goat) Dec. 22–Jan. 19
Aquarius (The Water Bearer) Jan. 20–Feb. 18
Pisces (The Fishes) Feb. 19–Mar. 20
Horror Movie Horoscope
You die first.
Discoverer of the bodies. Sorry, but you’re the first to find the carnage. Commence screaming now and who’s that standing right behind you?
The genius detective. You’re the one who figures out what exactly we’re dealing with and devises a plan to stop he/she/it. Let’s just hope it works!
Maker of bad choices. You’re the one who decides that it’s smart to investigate a strange noise, call out to the killer as if they’ll answer, and you’ll probably be running up the stairs when you should be running out the front door.
The bringer of the wrath. You know the rules. If you drink, get naked, or have sex, you and the people around you will die. But you do it anyways, partying your head off. And then you die. Hope it was worth it.
Horror movie Rambo. Sorry to tell you, but you die. But at least you go out, guns blazing, screaming, looking like a bad-ass filled with bravery…or stupidity. Sometimes in horror movies they are one in the same.
You’re the killer. Come on now, put down the knife.
The sacrifice. You’re the one that’s trying to save the rest of the group by “doing what’s right” or trying to save your friends. Too bad that it’s every person for themselves in a horror movie and you just died for nothing.
The survivor. You’re the one that makes it out alive! You outsmart the killer and you’ve put yourself on the line to make it to the very end…Only to make it to the sequel and die.
The accomplice. Yeah. We know that the killer couldn’t be in thirty places at once. He had help. And (no) surprise, that help was you!
The detective. You’re the first one on the scene to find the carnage and the one who predicted something like this all along. No matter what you do, you’re always two steps behind and right before the end, you die.
The naysayer. Even after the first and second bodies show up, you still insist that there’s nothing going on. You insist it right up until you get an axe in the face.
What’s your sign? Which one did you get? Let me know in the comments below which fate belongs to you!
The accomplice. *runs away*
I am the bringer of wrath!!
I shall help you!
I was all happy I was the survivor but then I died in the sequel. I hope I’m like randy in scream and make a fun surprise post mortem appearance in the third movie.
Kissed by Ink
Bringer of the Wrath!!! I have to say I’m not surprised:)
YES! Finder of bodies!! And I’m so good at ear splitting, blood curdling screaming, too. ^_^