Hello, lovelies.

 

I wanted to write a post about NaNo, but I’m tired. So tired. My kid is in the throes of what’s called a sleep regression. It’s this brilliant stage in a child’s life where they decide, “Hey, fuck this sleep thing. I can survive on mere hours a day.” It’s a glorious time for all parties involved.

*Giant pause because a motherfluffing mouse just ran by. It may be time to reconsider the humane traps*

Anyhoo – I’m not getting a whole lot of Z’s these days. As you can imagine, I’m a total treat. I started researching signs of sleep deprivation, and stumbled upon a story that went viral a couple years ago. You may have heard about it. It’s called the Russian Sleep Experiment.

While I’m not quite at the stage in which I need to be restrained (you’ll know what I’m talking about if you read the link above), I feel like I’m getting close. I’m on edge. Grumpy as shit. I fall asleep just randomly in the middle of the day, but only for a few moments. Often it’s short enough that I don’t even realize it happened until I snap away.

If I were in a Freddy movie, I’d be seriously effed.

While doctors say it’s incredibly difficult to die of lack of sleep – your body most likely will pass out on it’s own – imagine what a terrible way to go that’d be.

You’d feel like crap. Right now, it’s just after 9pm. I’ve slept about 3 or so hours in the last twenty-four. My eyes feel like sandpaper. It’s getting harder and harder to concentrate. I’m going to go to bed soon, but if I didn’t, I’d most likely move onto stages of delirium. You know when you wake up after a crappy night and you just feel wonky until your first breath of fresh air or cup of coffee? Imagine that all the time. Non-stop.

You could hallucinate. I just got home, which means I was driving only a few minutes ago. What if the red light looked green? Or the stop sign twisted into a giant candy cane rather than a live-saving octagon of metal?

What if the subtle scraping of my dog’s nails against the hardwood sounded like Jason dragging his machete, and I had to protect myself? What if my husband softly snoring next to me,sounded like a demon humming in my ear..what if I just fucking snapped?

I’d like to think that the worst you’ll see of tired-Jenna is unending streams of swear words muttered under my breath, but I can’t make any promises.

Goodnight…I hope.