My Big Fat Haunted House

I’m writing this not only to remind myself that it’s true, but also for posterity’s sake…in the case it doesn’t stop. It started shortly after we moved in. I don’t want to say what “it” is, mostly because I honestly don’t know.

It began with a subtle scrape. Like the sound of a shovel being drug across concrete. It started at night – always after twelve, always before 3.

Scrape. Scraaaape. Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaape. 

At first I was the only one that heard it. I’d nudge Matt awake but by the time he had his wits about him, the noise stopped. I had visions of an albino, bald, cave-dwelling creature with translucent skin and rows of razor sharp teeth scuttling across the ceiling of my crawlspace. The former owner would’ve chained the beast, hence the odd dragging noise I kept hearing.

When Matt heard it for the first time, he ran outside, convinced someone was rearranging the furniture on our deck. The sound became a nightly occurrence, He usually slept through the noises. For me, the more I paid attention to it the louder it got.

And then it stopped.

We went out of town a few months later. My sister packed up her little family and stayed at our house, watching our pups for the weekend. When we came home, my sister and brother-in-law nervously laughed when we asked how things went. My sister batted at her husband and told him not to say anything.

Apparantly they heard a small, high voice whispering for my dog in the middle of the night.


They still talk about it.

My son says ‘Hi’ to everyone. Even if there are five people coming into a store at once, he says hi to them all (if they don’t say hi back, it makes me internally rage). Last month I woke up at 3 am to him chatting with his closet.


The next night, he was laughing at it. The third night, he told it to go away. He hasn’t woken up in the middle of the night since then.

My husband snores. On nights where the kids really tucker me out, I send him to the spare room so I can get some solid snoozes in between baby snacks. (I’m the snack, not the baby).  A couple of nights ago I awoke to an odd gurgling noise. I tried to go back to sleep, but it kept getting louder…closer, even. Until it was on my husband’s side of the bed. I turned on the light but nothing was there.

Like I said, I don’t know what it is.

I only know it is there.

  • Krystal Jane
    February 24, 2017

    Whaat? Glad I’m reading this in the morning…

  • Erica Davis
    February 24, 2017


    and then what?

    MOAR. Seriously keep me posted.

  • Erica Davis
    February 24, 2017


  • Jenna
    February 24, 2017

    I hope I don’t have anymore updates -_-

  • Kira Butler (@kirabutler)
    February 24, 2017

    I think we need to send an EMP meter to Jenna. Or maybe an exorcist. O.O

  • Kathy Palm
    February 24, 2017

    OMG IMMA COMING TO YOUR HOUSE! That is crazy awesome.

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