TW: Grief, death.
TL, DR: Mom’s still dead and books make me happy.
It’s coming up on a year since my mom died and I Am Doing Okay I Think™️.
Of course there are bad days, like yesterday, when I was already worn out from last week’s move, had some Prickly and Mysterious Sassiness, multiplied by a suspected gluten-trigger…when I reached for my cell to call Mom.
If only we had that good of coverage.
But then, Future Erica, who is much more adjusted than I am, reminded me of something my grief counselor (GC) told me: Nature abhors a vacuum (Aristotle, I think?).
What GC meant was this: if I’m not doing anything (read: exhausted, drained, DONE) then my thoughts are more easily going to go to the dark places that keep memories of my parents’ deaths nice and ripe. My brain on grief is like a hangry toddler in the knife store. Not great. So let’s give That Hangry Toddler That Is My Grief-Brain something to do.
My GC recommends engaging any two (2) or three (3) of my senses at a time.
If I crochet (touch) AND watch Netflix (see/hear) AND/OR light a vanilla cupcake candle (smell, see, touch), then there’s little space for the horrible or triggering or sad memories to seep through.
Because those spaces are filled by one of my *six senses.
And reader, it helps me. A few of the combos that pulled me out of a funk faster than anything have been:
Writing + Netflix (something familiar [Friends, Gilmore Girls] but MUTED) + a new scented wax melt
Netflix + candle + coloring
Bubble bath + music + candle
Editing + candle + pizza
Pizza + Netflix + three dogs drooling on my lap
So today, one year and three days since I was with my mom before the quick decline, I am rearranging my bookshelves in my new home office, while listening to the fan rattle, and drinking coffee.
Books + fan + coffee.
And now, what we’re all here to see…the shelves:
I have close up photos for all twelve shelves here, but my tech isn’t cooperating so I’m going to walk away for a bit of Bacon, Cheese, and Netflix now.
In conclusion, it’s good to be back.
The Davis Girl
*You read that correctly because I typed it correctly.