Confession… as much as I love survival horror and go so far as to consider my creative work as survival horror in written form, buuuuuuut…. um, I never played the original Resident Evil.

(via allgamesbeta.com)

(via allgamesbeta.com)

After Silent Hill‘s genius and Fatal Frame‘s brutality, there didn’t seem to be much of a point. If the Resident Evil franchise is known for anything, it’s for the silliness in ridiculous plots, the dumb characters, and inconsistent tone that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be gothic horror or biological horror. I took a pass. Mostly. I played Resident Evil: Revelations and quite enjoyed it when it was being a horror game in a boat at the bottom of the sea, and barely kept from gauging out my eyes out when it jumped to the stupid, lame, idiotic, bafflingly boring action plot.

And then came the Resident Evil HD Remaster. Here was my chance to finally check out the original survival horror game. Below are my transcribed thoughts.

Oh look, a lovely gothic mansion. Wish my house looked like this. Man, Albert Wesker talks like I shot his mom in front of him but can’t get revenge because of professional reasons. Just kidding, Wesker never had a mother. Now we’re in a hallway. Hey there zombie, sorry pop culture has made you less scary than a song and dance number from Beauty & The Beast. *shoots zombie dead.* Guess that’s it, thanks for everything Res Evie. Hang on, it’s getting up again. It’s coming at me again… RUN!

For the first since Left 4 Dead back in 2008, I was scared of zombies. Then got even more scared when the crimson heads showed up.

Resident Evil immerses the player in the world of Spenser Manor. The mansion itself feels like a force holding back the zombie outbreak and the puzzles are it’s way of testing the player to see if they’re up to the challenge of stopping the Umbrella Corporation.

And yes, the plot is ridiculous. Every twist is predictable. The characters are mostly flat (at least Jill Valentine goes from damsel-in-distress to a complete badass by the end). But in spite of all of it, it’s still a scary game.

It’s more than earned its place in horror history and even though the term survival horror was created as a marketing gimmick, Resident Evil ended up creating a whole genre of games.