In keeping with our Horror House theme for March, here is some of my research for my manuscript concerning obscure horror house things because this world is a big beautiful bag of weird (all images courtesy of interwebs).

Z is for ZARF

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ZARF: It’s to keep your fingers from burning off while you drink your potion.

Y is for YEW

YEW TREE: For the inner demon-child in you. Or in it.

YEW TREE: For the inner demon-child in you. Or it.

X is for XANTHIPPE

XANTHIPPE STATUE: To honor and welcome the inner banshee in all of us.

XANTHIPPE STATUE: To honor and welcome the inner banshee in all of us.

W is for WIDOW’S WALK

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WIDOW’S WALK: I feel like it’s less awful than it sounds. Kind of like a mini-lighthouse on top of your home.

V is for VOMITORIUM

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VOMITORIUM: Not as bad as it sounds. It’s just that exit way leading out of an amphitheater.

U is for UCALEGON

UCALEGON: Because nothing says "Welcome Home!" like a neighbor whose house is on fire.

UCALEGON: Because nothing says “Welcome Home!” like a neighbor whose house is on fire.

T is for TILBURY

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TILBURY: Because so much is riding on your zebras.

S is for SOLARIUM

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SOLARIUM: AKA Greenhouse, orangery, or sunroom. It’s like an oven for your whole body.

R is for RUINS

RUINS: Better yet, underwater ruins at the bottom of my private lake with an underground river that connects to my basement poolbrary.

RUINS: Better yet, underwater ruins at the bottom of my private lake with an underground river that connects to my basement poolbrary (See NATATORIUM, below).

Q is for QUARTREFOIL

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QUARTREFOIL: These were hidden all over my hometown. I’m still convinced they were portals to a pocket universe.

P is for PORTICULLIS

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PORTICULLIS: This is NOT what I pictured this word to look like. I’d call it deathfence.

O is for OCCULUS

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OCCULUS: I cannot count the number of nightmares these windows give me.

N is for NATATORIUM

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NATATORIUM: And if it was drained like this basement one, I’d fill the shallow end with books and the deep end with pillows. My poolbrary.

M is for MOTHERHOOD HELPER

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MOTHERHOOD HELPER: I don’t know the name for it, but sign me up.

L is for LANTERN

LANTERN: I don't know what it lanterns but I want six of them.

LANTERN: I don’t know what it lanterns but I want eighteen of them.

K is for KEWPIE DOLL

KEWPIE DOLL: Just kidding. These are the stuff of nightmares.

KEWPIE DOLL: Just kidding. These are the stuff of nightmares.

J is for JIGGUMBOB

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JIGGUMBOB: No thank you, please.

I is for INGLENOOK

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INGLENOOK: Where you go to get warm or burned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

H is for HALLWAY

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HALLWAY: Sometimes you should stay in your room.

G is for GARRET

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GARRET: Like an attic, but worse because you’re convinced it will tidy up nicely for a fifth bedroom.

F is for FRIENDSHIP BALLS

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FRIENDSHIP BALLS: AKA Gazing Balls, Looking Balls, or Butler Balls.

E is for ENFILADE

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ENFILADE: A series of adjoining rooms in which the doors align and you’ll probably get stabbed.

D is for DOVCOTE

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DOVCOTE: Where the doves go.

C is for CUPOLA

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CUPOLA: Like a belvedere only more so.

B is for BELVEDERE

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BELVEDERE: Not just an 80’s butler, but so much more than a cupola.

A is for ANTEROOM

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ANTEROOM: You can wait here. You can wait here and you can like it.